LOCAL / BUSINESS AS USUAL
GERALD GETS HEAD STUCK IN TISSUE BOX. CONTINUES MEETING.
The committee has never finished early and will not start now.
READ THE MINUTES →FRIDAY’S PAPER / OCTOBER 23, 2026
THE STREET
HEARD THINGS.
Three stories. Three overheards. No one behaved.
LOCAL / ARRANGEMENTS PENDING
FUNERAL FOR MOTH POSTPONED. MOTH FINE.
The family has asked for space. Nobody knows the family.
CHECK THE ARRANGEMENTS →
CULTURE / ARTISTIC DIFFERENCES
Cat’s Acclaimed Dance Routine Turns Out to Be Attempt to Remove Sticker.
Otis is unavailable for an encore.
MEET THE ARTIST →OVERHEARD BY THE VENT / OCTOBER 23, 2026
THEY SAID
WHAT NOW?
Fictional overheards. Nobody here can be trusted.
“I said ‘you too’ when he called me beautiful. He seemed relieved.”— a woman, accidentally taking the lead
“I don’t need the whole story. I need the part you lowered your voice for.”— the neighbor, turning off the blender
“He puts his hand on the floor so I can reach it. We’re both getting older.”— an old cat, meeting him halfway