DOMESTIC DIPLOMACY
CAT DENIES HAVING A FAVORITE HUMAN WHILE SITTING ON HIM.
Both humans are equally valued. One may need permission to stand.
READ THE STORY →MONDAY’S PAPER / OCTOBER 19, 2026
THE STREET
HEARD THINGS.
Three stories. Three overheards. No one behaved.
SOCIETY & SPARKLE
Socialite Cat Sparks Engagement Rumors With Huge Diamond. Jeweler Also Has Questions.
Vivienne’s enormous diamond has prompted engagement speculashun across the district. She has declined to identify a fiancé, calling that a rather small detail to get distracted by.
READ THE STORY →
DISTRICT INVESTIGATIONS
Cat Detective Investigates Shredded Curtains. Calls Attack “Highly Skilled.”
The district’s cat detective has described the shredded curtains as the work of an unusually talentid individual. He urged residents not to confuse damage with a lack of artistic sensibility.
READ THE STORY →OVERHEARD BY THE VENT / OCTOBER 19, 2026
THEY SAID
WHAT NOW?
Fictional overheards. Nobody here can be trusted.
“I thought I was being seductive. Apparently I was blocking the subtitles.”— a woman, moving one inch
“The kitten brought me a leaf. I’ve put it with my things.”— an old cat, making room
“I liked one video about bread. My phone thinks I’m opening a bakery.”— a woman, still eating over the sink