DOMESTIC DIPLOMACY
CAT DENIES HAVING A FAVORITE HUMAN WHILE SITTING ON HIM.
Both humans are equally valued. One may need permission to stand.
A society cat has dismissed favoritism speculashun, explaining that both humans occupy equally important posishuns in his life.
One is free to pursue hobbies, see friends and leave the room whenever they like. The other must submit a written request before adjusting his knee.
This is not preferenshul treatment, the cat insisted. It is simply a more collaborativ arrangement.
Asked about the human in the other chair, he said their bond was very speshal. They have a wonderful understanding. Neither expects the other to attend anything.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Inspired by Page Six’s October 18, 2026 report that Andy Cohen described two Housewives franchises as especially close to his heart. The cat, household and events here are entirely fictional. Original pattern inspiration. This is fictional cat satire, not a report about real people.
Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.
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