THURSDAY’S PAPER / OCTOBER 15, 2026
Three stories. Three overheards. No one behaved.
SOCIETY
A society cat who spent years calling the district’s private club a nest of unbearable snobs has finally been admitted. She immediately chose a velvet chair and became concerned about standards.
READ THE STORY →
INVESTIGASHUN
A local cat detective has promised to bring a missing goldfish’s killer to justice. He arrived at the scene shortly after breakfast and immediately took charge of the bowl.
READ THE STORY →
WEDDINGS
Felix accepted the honor of officiating his ex’s wedding with remarkable maturitee. He arrived early, checked the flowers and asked how binding the whole thing needed to be.
READ THE STORY →OVERHEARD BY THE VENT / OCTOBER 15, 2026
Fictional overheards. Nobody here can be trusted.
“I asked the chatbot if I was overreacting. We’re not speaking either.”— a woman, opening a new chat
“She’s using her maiden name. He doesn’t know he’s single yet.”— a woman, helping with the monogram
“Your microphone is on. No, leave it. This is better.”— a woman, finally enjoying the meeting