CULTURE / COVER TO COVER
CAT ADMITS SHE HAS NEVER READ A BOOK. HAS STRONG OPINIONS ON ALL OF THEM.
The District’s fiercest critic has found a way around the reading.
READ HER CRITERIA →THURSDAY’S PAPER / OCTOBER 1, 2026
THE STREET
HEARD THINGS.
Three stories. Three overheards. No one behaved.
Photo: Alvesgaspar · CC BY-SA 3.0 (cropped)RELATIONSHIPS / POINT OF ORDER
CAT DEFENDS EX. ‘SHE WAS AWFUL FOR COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REASONS.’
He will not stand by while people get the complaints wrong.
HEAR HIS DEFENSE →
BEACH LIFE / LIMITED SERVICE
CAT POSES AS LIFEGUARD. CLARIFIES SHE WILL NOT BE ENTERING WATER.
She is watching the bay. Please do not add responsibilities.
CHECK THE COVERAGE →OVERHEARD BY THE VENT / OCTOBER 1, 2026
THEY SAID
WHAT NOW?
Fictional overheards. Nobody here can be trusted.
“I thought I was the fun one. Apparently I’m the lift home.”— Moira, sober and furious
“Tom Cruise can still move. So can I, but there’s a noise.”— Graham, getting off the sofa
“The dog saved me a seat. I hadn’t realized we were at that stage.”— Edmund, sitting beside him anyway