CULTURE / COVER TO COVER
CAT ADMITS SHE HAS NEVER READ A BOOK. HAS STRONG OPINIONS ON ALL OF THEM.
The District’s fiercest critic has found a way around the reading.
Literary critic Prudence admitted yesterday that she has never opened a book, calling the contents “a distrakshun from the overall package.”
Her reviews consider the cover, the author’s photograph and whether the thing lies flat enough to sit on. One acclaimed debut lost two stars because its author wore a scarf indoors.
Asked whether this was fair, Prudence said she owed readers an honest opinion, not several weeks of her life.
Her own memoir is due in November. She hopes somebody will tell her what happens.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Pattern inspiration: Alix Earle reacts to the fuss over her claim that she has never read a book. — E! News, 2026-09-30. This is an original fictional cat story, not a report about the real people in that coverage.
Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.
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