Weather Desk: Excellent Sunbeam Expected to Reach Other End of Couch.

The weather desk is tracking an extremely promissing sunbeam currently advancing across the couch. Conditions at the eastern cushion are already excellent, with further warmness expected after lunch.

Our correspondent has moved one paw into the affected area and upgraded the outlook to magnifisent. Residents are advised to finish any unnecessary activity immediatly.

A passing human briefly interrupted coverage. The desk is calling this an isolated incident, not a trend.

The forecast remains favorabul, provided nobody closes the curtains. Our correspondent has stationed his entire body against that possibility.

Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.