TELEVISION / COMFORT VIEWING
CAT SAYS TRUE-CRIME SHOWS HELP HIM RELAX; HOUSEHOLD FINDS HIS NOTES.
He says the narrator is soothing. The notebook is less soothing.
Local cat Vernon says murder documentaries are the only thing that helps him unwind after a demanding day of being home.
His humans found this slightly odd but harmless until a notebook slid from beneath his cushion. The first page was headed “Mistakes.” Several entries had been underlined twice.
Vernon said he was simply an engaged viewer and would apreciate some privacy. Asked why he paused whenever the detective explained how the suspect got caught, he looked at the remote.
The household has switched to baking shows. He has started a second notebook.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Pattern inspiration: People profiles celebrity Dateline superfans, including stars who watch before bed. — People, 2026-09-25. This is an original fictional cat story, not a report about the real people in that coverage.
Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.
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