BEAUTY / ALREADY EVERYWHERE
CAT LAUNCHES SIGNATURE SCENT. NEIGHBORS ALREADY FAMILIAR.
An exclusive fragrance. Available on your trouser leg since March.
Pop cat Celeste has launched her signature scent, describing it as intimate, unmistakable and “not for absolutely everyone.”
Neighbors say it is on absolutely everyone. Celeste has personally applied it to visitors, delivery bags and both sides of the communal doorframe. One man received a full sample while trying to read the gas meter.
The bottled version costs eighty dollers. Celeste says customers are paying for exclusivity, not just fragrance.
Mrs. Bell from downstairs has asked whether buying it will make her stop.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Pattern inspiration: Tate McRae launches her first fragrance, Tate 01. — Page Six, 2026-10-01. This is an original fictional cat story, not a report about the real people in that coverage.
Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.
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