DINING / VERY INDEPENDENT
CAT REVIEWS CITY’S RESTAURANTS. FIVE STARS FOR FISH. ONE STAR FOR EVERYONE ELSE.
His standards are exacting. There is one standard.
Local food critic Clive has reviewed the city’s restaurants using a rigorous system: five stars for fish, one star for everyone else. Service, atmosphere and whether he was invited are not relevent.
A celebrated vegetarian restaurant received one star before opening. Clive called this efficiency. A seafood place with a leaking ceiling received five; he described the damp as coastal.
Asked whether complimentary meals might influence his judgement, Clive said absolutely not.
The restaurant that stopped sending them is now under investigation.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Owner-requested original CatDistrict fiction; no external news source.
Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.
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