FASHION / YOU LOOK WRONG NOW
PRINCESS COLLARS ARE OVER; EXPOSED NECKS AND QUESTIONABLE SHAVES TO RULE AUTUMN
The collar you bought on Friday is embarrassing. The cat who sold it to you has a new collection.
Princess collars are over, sez designer Lucien, who sold us all princess collars on Friday.
His new collekshun features bare necks and shaves that look like the groomer got a phone call. One model had a square missing from her shoulder. Lucien called it “negative space.” She called it Kevin.
Consultations on which collar NOT to wear start at 400 dollers. Simply forgetting yours does not count.
Returns on Friday’s collars closed yesterday. Fashion moves fast, sumhow always toward his bank account.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Pattern inspiration: Michael Kors predicts experimental looks will replace princess-style red-carpet fashion — E! News, 2026-09-14. This is an original fictional cat story, not a report about the real people in that coverage. All dialogue and cat characters are invented.
Fiction & satire. All characters and dialogue are invented.
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