INTERIORS / OCCUPANCY
NEW COOKWARE ARRIVES. GRAHAM MOVES INTO THE COLANDER.
The kitchen upgrade has acquired a tenant.
Graham moved into the new colander before the cookware had finished being unpacked. He described the accommodashun as airy, well located and unusually honest about its drainage problems.
His human explained that it was for pasta. Graham said he had no objeckshun to visitors, provided they made an appointmint and arrived dry.
An attempt to lift him out was treated as an unscheduled inspekshun. He has requested advance notice in writing.
The saucepan remains vacant. Graham would prefer a quiet neighbor. Pasta has already been ruled out.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Pattern inspiration: Martha Stewart’s cookware and home-decor sale roundup. Published 2026-10-25. Affiliate shopping coverage, not an independently established trend. All cat characters and events are invented. Original pattern inspiration. This is fictional cat satire, not a report about real people.
Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.
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