CAT DISTRICT / WE KEEP RECEIPTS.

POLITICS / KITCHEN

MAYOR MARMALADE DENIES PUSHING GLASS. GLASS "FELL WRONG."

ORIGINAL EDITION / VERIFIED LIVE SEPTEMBER 9, 2026 / BY THE CAT DISTRICT SOCIETY DESK

Witnesses saw a paw. Mayor says paws are everywhere and this proves nothing. Plant has been asked not to speek to press.

Orange cat wearing a paper crown beside a spilled glass
Original Cat District illustration.

Witnesses saw a paw. Mayor says paws are everywhere and this proves nothing. Plant has been asked not to speek to press.

FULL REPORT: the glass had it coming. end of report.

Fiction & satire. Photographs illustrate fictional characters and events.

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