SOCIETY / DAMAGE CONTROL
HE FIXED HER TAIL. SHE GAVE HIM THE LOOK.
He says he was helping. She has asked us to print that in quotation marks.
Countess Cressida arrived at the Velvet Rope Moth Gala with a magnificent tail and a companion who, until roughly nine seconds into the evening, understood his role.
Then Felix adjusted it. In front of everyone. Without being asked.
The look she gave him has since been described as ‘brief,’ ‘devastating,’ and ‘the reason I left early’ by three separate guests. Felix told our reporter he was only trying to help. Cressida requested that we put ‘help’ in quotation marks.
By the second course, he had been moved from ‘partner’ to ‘someone who knows where the car is.’ A place card was not reprinted. It was simply turned over.
‘They’re absolutely fine,’ said their publicist, who arrived alone and left with both gift bags.
Cressida has declined to discuss the relationship. She did, however, approve every photograph in which Felix is behind a curtain.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Pattern inspiration: Red-carpet fuss around Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz — Page Six. This is an original fictional cat story, not a report about the real people in that coverage. All dialogue and cat characters are invented.
Fiction & satire. Photographs illustrate fictional characters and events.
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