GRAHAM FALLS OFF SAME TABLE TWICE. BLAMES TABLE BOTH TIMES.

Graham rolled off the low coffee table onto the soft carpet this afternoon, landed unharmed and immediately questioned the table's competense. After a brief inspeckshun, he climbed back up to demonstrate what should have happened.

The demonstrashun ended on the same carpet. Graham remained perfectly fine, though his opinion of the furniture deteriorated considerably. He sat beside it in an unusually pointed silense.

His human offered the couch. Graham regarded this as an attempt to change the subject. He has requested an apologee from the table and is waiting at a distance he considers safe.

Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.