AWARDS / PLEASE REMAIN SEATED
CAT VIDEO AWARDS PROMISE ‘FAST-PACED’ SHOW; PRODUCER HAS SEEN AUDIENCE LEAVE THE ROOM BEFORE.
Two hours of prestige face stiff competition from an empty box.
Producer Gordon promises this year’s Cat Video Awards will move briskly, with performances, tributes and almost no opportunity to remember you could leave. Acceptance speeches have been cut to one grateful noise.
Last year, the front row discovered an empty box in the foyer during the lifetime achievement award. The winner finished thanking his mother to a lighting technician who was contractually required to stay.
This year Gordon has removed the box. The audience is calling it a hostile enviroment. The box has booked its own afterparty.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Pattern inspiration: MTV VMAs producer promises a fast-paced show packed with performances and tributes — The Hollywood Reporter, 2026-09-24. This is an original fictional cat story, not a report about the real people in that coverage.
Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.
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