SOCIETY / DAMAGE CONTROL
CAT APOLOGIZES FOR INSULT. REPEATS IT FOR ANYONE WHO MISSED IT.
She would like to clear the air. Can everyone hear her?
A society cat has issued a public apoligy for calling her rival “a dull woman with an expensive cushion.” Several neighbors had not heard the remark. She asked them to come closer.
“I deeply regret saying ‘a dull woman with an expensive cushion,’” she sez. “Particularly the dull part, which was unecessary.”
Her publicist requested a shorter statment. She agreed to repeat only the insult for anyone arriving late.
She is considering a second apoligy becus the first one wasn’t very well attended.
THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE
Pattern inspiration: Jackson Olson apologizes to fellow 'DWTS' contestant Guillermo Rodriguez over shady comment — Page Six, 2026-10-07. This is an original fictional cat story, not a report about the real people in that coverage.
Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.
BACK TO THE DISTRICT →