BUSINESS / DO NOT DISTURB

CAT DECLARES BED HER OFFICE. STILL UNAVAILABLE DURING OFFICE HOURS.

SEPTEMBER 30, 2026 / BY THE CAT DISTRICT STREET DESK

Headquarters has moved upstairs. Nobody is taking your call.

Daphne has designated the bed her office and asked the household to respect a more profesional working environment.

This means no sitting, folding laundry or asking whether she is asleep. She is not asleep. She is unavailable.

Her human now handles incoming requests from the hallway. Urgent matters may be slid under the door, where they will remain urgent.

Daphne emerged briefly at four to complain that nobody had consulted her. The meeting she then demanded has been postponed. She needs to lie down.

THE HUMAN STORY BEHIND THE NONSENSE

Pattern inspiration: Vera Wang shares a bed selfie, calling it her real office. — Page Six, 2026-09-29. This is an original fictional cat story, not a report about the real people in that coverage.

Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.