7 Great Ideas for Our Dog. By Our Cat.

Humans, our dog has tremendous enthuziasm and very little on his calendar. As the cat in charge, I have prepared seven ideas for what you can do with him. He likes being included.

1. Give him something important to carry between rooms. A sock will do. Tell him the situashun is urgent.
2. Send him to investigate the doorbell. Ask for a full report, preferably without bringing the visitor inside.
3. Let him accept blame with dignitee. He already has the face for it, and practice builds confidence.
4. Have him escort us past the vacuum. His considerable bulk finally has a useful applicashun.
5. Check whether the afternoon sun reaches both beds. This household believes in fair distribushun.
6. Bring his ridiculous ball over. We may not play, but we enjoy his enthuziasm.
7. Let him lie beside us when the house gets quiet. He does not need to carry anything then.

Fiction & satire. These cats and their scandals are invented.