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CAT DISTRICT / NOVEMBER 3, 2026 / STREET DESK

TUESDAY’S PAPER / NOVEMBER 3, 2026

THE STREET
HEARD THINGS.

Three stories. No one behaved.

A brown tabby stands in a hallway with raised back fur and a puffed tail, looking toward a bathroom where a hair dryer rests on the counter.

DISTRICT GOSSIP / PERSONAL FITNESS

RUFUS UNVEILS NEW PHYSIQUE. IT GOES AWAY WHEN HE CALMS DOWN.

The transformation lasted until the bathroom went quiet.

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Black hind legs with white paws brace at the opening of a long paper bag as a cat crawls headfirst inside; a distant gray cat sits at the back right, its three-quarter face lowered toward the bag opening.

DISTRICT WATCH / BAG INVESTIGATION

CAT TAKES WRONG TURN INSIDE PAPER BAG. SITUATION DETERIORATES.

The exit remains exactly where it was.

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Closer side-angle view of cats occupying the House chamber: an orange tabby paws a wooden gavel beside a sleeping tuxedo on the single foreground rostrum, a calico grooms at lower right, and dozens of cats sit, lounge and move among the brown member benches and blue-carpet aisle.

POLITICS / HOSTILE TAKEOVER

CATS DEFEAT REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS. TAKE CONTROL OF CONGRESS.

Less damage expected, even with the scratching.

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